THE CRADLE OF PATRIARCHY

BDSM, PORN, MYSTIFICATION, POWER

The alternative sexuality of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) has often been considered a behavioral deviance, a symptom of mental instability or an indicator of the dangerousness of those who practice it. The fear of sexual practices that challenge ethical norms and question morality leads to an erroneous, prejudicial conception.

Social media, media, and film production, with “Fifty Shades of Grey,” contribute to a mystified, unrealistic representation and to the reinforcement of the stereotypical conception that society has regarding the kinky community (those who practice unconventional sexuality). Alternative pornography plays a particularly important role in this regard.

There is Rocco Siffredi porn, which we all know, governed by men and designed for straight, cisgender men who are usually very basic. Mainstream porn, where the woman is at the service of the male orgasm, where scenes of performance sex take place that not even Sylvester Stallone would have. Then there is a more streamlined, niche porn, aimed at a specific category, which deals with the representation of consensual practices and behaviors acted out on the basis of unusual arousal fantasies: paraphilias, ways of seeking sexual pleasure that are not common to conventional, prevalent sexuality, usually focused on contact and genital stimulation and penetration of the woman by the man.

It is the great world of BDSM, where pleasure is experienced in the form of pain, humiliation, submission, domination, fetishism (a form of erotic obsession with a part of the body or an object/material, such as feet or heels or leather clothes...), where the partners' fantasies flow more freely, uncensored.

Alternative pornography, although it may initially give the impression of a depiction freed from the taboos of the predominant sexuality in favor of a more courageous sexuality in the discovery of pleasures and more equal between genders, as is the reality of those who practice BDSM, is not much less than classic mainstream pornography.

In Italy the erotic industry environment, in an obvious or more hidden way, remains an ambiguous terrain in the hands of men of a certain age, influential, rich and slimy. They educate, insert, promote women interested in the porn industry. They are the directors and actors, they are the managers whose interest is to sell images and videos that bring themselves and the men who will buy them to the peak of excitement; in classic porn as we already know, in alternative porn elevating the woman to a powerful dominatrix Woman, who bends and dominates men with whips and strap ons (dildos used for penetration). The representation of sexual relations is again distorted, taken to extremes, where the woman from prey of the man who penetrates her violently becomes the contemptuous Goddess who possesses physical and mental control of the male. But she is still at his service. From a woman who practices fellatio on men of little credibility to a woman who practices it but with her feet. These women are called in alternative porn videos, Mistress (Dominatrix). It is not surprising that many porn stars are migrating from mainstream pornography to alternative pornography in recent times, mainly for two reasons: to be less victims of unwanted sexual humiliation by men and therefore with the illusion of greater control over the male gender and for a higher income in a job that over time can become autonomous.

The erotic industry feeds on the deep insecurities of women, unaware of what BDSM is, it devours them and many girls eager for attention, fame, power enter this machine made of glorious promises and easy illusions: the cradle of the patriarchy. It lulls you, reassures you, puts you in the spotlight, elevates you, fills you with money but in exchange it asks you to compromise on who you are, on your identity, on your personal sexual interests in the name of the dominant male need and to sell you will have to adapt to the rules of the business, to what the market is, which is called patriarchy. And it will be hard, for success you will have to learn to emerge, to get noticed, among so many women, and you will learn to elbow, you will be ready to clean house for the competition and you will sell videos as much as you can and you will be the most beautiful and the sexiest because otherwise you risk the mask of power falling off.

The most serious fact is that even with alternative porn a distorted, one-sided and unhealthy reality of sexuality is transmitted. The woman is equally objectified, she is assigned a toxic female model, the idea around people who live BDSM in reality is stereotyped, the values at the base of sexuality are tampered with and values such as violence, oppression, hunger for power, rivalry are promoted and the wrong messages are transmitted.

In kinky reality (that which is unconventional), already often misunderstood and judged, pleasure has no gender but is democratic, healthy, safe, it belongs to everyone and is discussed, agreed upon, the expression of the specialty of desire is preferred and there is even less of a large number of Mistresses.